Reader x Dirk Bump N' Grind

You hummed along to the soothing melody’s of your 25th anniversary Legend of Zelda symphony as you where typing up a new friend fiction. As a dedicated fan girl and avid shipper you had a tendency to write about your friends whom you would ship…Hardly….Like you shipped that shit so hard It ceased to amazed you that you where still alive from not exploding of cute fluffiness  or them being completely oblivious to there sexual tension that would surround them constantly.. But hey Let‘s stop getting off topic here.

You where humming along to the last song Ballad of the goddess from the beloved cd until it ended. You scrolled your mouse to the replay button to repeat the whole track until. The booming sounds of R. Kelly’s Bump’n Grind entered your ears. You groaned hearing it enter for you and your ever loving boyfriends Dirk’s bedroom. Pushing your precious laptop off your lap and stoked it for a couple seconds whispering sweet nothing’s into it’s hot monitor as if it would understand you and confess it’s ever dieing love for you.

You made your way thought the hall ways hearing the song’s loudness grow to the point you almost had to cover your ears. Hell. As you reached the closed door you where quite afraid that you would be blasted away from the music or you would come to a now deaf boyfriend. You swallowed your courage as you opened the door.

“Dirk. I swear to god If you don’t lower that music you’ll go deaf” you began to shout.

Until. The music got lower. Confused you opened your eyes since you had a tendency to close them when yelling. You instantly regretted even walking into the bedroom. You covered your eyes feeling a heated blush spared across your cheeks

“Hey babe” Dirk said in a quite husky tone.

“D-dirk! What the ever loving hell are you wearing?” You shrieked as you peeked though your eyes seeing Dirk Covered with rainbow stick on glitter shit all over him

“So sexy. Come around these parts often?” He asked

“Sweet halleluiah babe Jesus... What the hell?”

“Wanna….Join me?” he asked.

He ran a hand tough his almost pure white blond hair with a sly smile.  Was this what you got for not having sex with him for 2 weeks you mentally cried out

“Asdfghjkl NO!”

You wiped away any form of foam or droll that was beginning to slowly drip out of your mouth

“Awww. Come on. Why not?” he began to beg “It’s the smuppets? Isn’t it?”

“Dirk. Are you wearing a bedazzled thong?”

“Maybe I am?” he said smiling, probably enjoying your discomfort

“Nope! I’m done!” you shouted.

You raised both your hands and began to walk out of the room until he flash steeped in front of you and locked the door

“Come on ________ Can we just have some sex” he begged
You looked down at him and cursed your mind. It began to drift to cretin thoughts witch most mothers would hate for there daughters the think of.

“Fineeee’ you said exasperated.

You two then continued to fuck like rabbits